What if the exact moment you want to shrink back... 

Is the exact moment you need to step forward?

Recently on Inside Influence, I spoke with big wave surfer Mark Matthews - someone who rides 50-foot walls of water, despite being terrified of the ocean as a child. After a catastrophic accident doctors said would end his career, he chose to return to the waves - this time stronger, more focused, and with a deeper respect for the power of fear.

But here’s the part that attracted me to his story.

Mark describes himself as introverted and neurotic. He doesn’t silence fear. He studies it. He trains for it. And most importantly - he uses it as fuel.

If you’ve ever hesitated to put your ideas out there, feared stepping onto the stage, or second-guessed whether you're ready to be seen as an authority, I really feel Mark’s journey offers a roadmap.

Not to the absence of fear - but to the mastery of it.

Leadership is About Being ‘Unreasonable’

When I asked Mark whether his choice to get back out onto the water after his accident seemed “unreasonable” to other people, he laughed - and then said yes.

Because doing something extraordinary almost always looks unreasonable at first.

Choosing to own the stage as an authority in your field. Launching a platform for your ideas when your inner critic is on full volume. Owning your expertise in a room where no one else looks like you.

Unreasonable? Maybe.

Necessary? 100%.

Every leader I’ve ever worked with who became a sought-after thought leader - at some point - chose to stop being “reasonable” and start being visible.

Always Train for the Wipeouts

This one is definitely an ongoing lesson for me.

When I asked Mark about where he places his focus in training. He said the most important part of his training isn’t preparing for waves - it’s preparing for wipeouts.

This is when he trains his body and breath to stay calm - while he’s held under water, in the dark, for minutes at a time.

In my world, the wipeouts look a little different. 

A cold rejection. A talk that didn’t land. A post that got silence - or worse, a field day for the critics. A launch that didn’t convert.

But what if we prepared for those moments instead of fearing them? What if we expected them? What if we decided to show up anyway?

Because building authority isn’t about never falling. 

It’s about knowing you know how to rise.

When Your Instincts Say ‘Retreat,’ Hold the Line

Mark described how he feels in those moments before catching a monster wave. When everything in his body screams at him to paddle away.

But years of experience tell him otherwise.

“It’s like in Braveheart when Mel Gibson yells ‘Hold! Hold!’ That’s what I hear in my head,” he explained. "When that swell line's coming... I'm just saying to myself, okay Mark, hold".

In your world, it’s probably not a 50-foot wave. 

It might be the moment you’re about to hit publish on a bold LinkedIn post. Or step onto a panel filled with people you deeply admire. Or send that keynote pitch to the event you’ve dreamt of speaking at for years.

Fear will tell you to wait. Paddle back. Stay safe. Play small.

But growth lives on the other side of holding your ground.

Stop Waiting for Fear to Go Away

If you’re waiting to feel fearless before taking the leap. To pitch, post, speak, step up to the next level in your leadership legacy - trust me, you will be waiting forever.

Fear is part of the package. 

Not because you’re not ready, but because you care.

And because what you're doing matters.

The next time you feel the pull to retreat - when the visibility feels too big, the critics feel too loud, or the stage feels too exposed - remember Mark's advice.

Stay unreasonable.

Train for wipeouts.

Hold the line.

That’s where real influence begins.