The greatest myth in influence isn’t about strategy or skill – it’s about confidence.

I was sitting with an incredible CEO last week when she made a confession that stopped me in my tracks:

“I’ve been waiting ten years to write my book. Ten years of collecting stories, refining ideas, but always telling myself ‘not yet’.”

Her words hit home because I hear them every day – on coaching calls, at events and in conversations with leaders.

More than that, I often use them myself.

This silent waiting game that keeps so many powerful experts on the sidelines. The belief that somewhere out there, there’s a magical moment when we’ll finally feel “ready” enough to step into our authority.

Here’s the truth.

Confidence is the result, not the ingredient.

Confidence only shows up when we show up, over and over again.

Research from the Psychology of Leadership Centre at Harvard shows that the most influential leaders don’t wait for confidence – they act from certainty.

This shifts everything about how we show up.

Let me show you exactly how to make this transition, step by step.

Step 1: Recognize Your Upper Limit

We all have an internal thermostat for success. When we exceed it, our brain sends warning signals.

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Gay Hendricks, author of my all-time favorite book The Big Leap, these moments of discomfort aren’t warning signs – they’re growth signals.

Here’s how you can keep moving:

• Notice when you start feeling ‘too visible’
• Track physical signals (racing heart, tight chest)
• Document the stories your mind creates
• Identify your go-to retreat behaviours

Step 2: Map Your Achievements

Now it’s time to choose a different response. Before you can expand your influence, first you need to anchor yourself in success.

Create your expert evidence bank:

• List every challenge you’ve already overcome
• Document positive feedback you’ve received
• Record specific ways you’ve helped others
• Note times you’ve exceeded your own expectations

This now becomes the foundation of your certainty. The ‘ground zero’ you return to every time you start to doubt your ability.

Step 3: Select Your Power Response

When imposter syndrome hits and we start to fear the feedback or criticism that we might receive, most people:

• Freeze
• Apologize
• Over-prepare
• Retreat
• Defend

Instead, decide which one of these power responses you want to use instead:

• Celebrate having the courage to step into the arena
• Get curious about feedback
• Carefully select whose opinions you value
• Focus on progress over perfection

Step 4: Practice “Go For No”

The fastest way to build certainty is through intentional exposure to the words ‘no’ or ‘not now’. Once we get comfortable with facing rejection, we can step forward without the constant fear of failure holding us back.

Your weekly practice:

• Pitch one bold idea
• Request one stretch opportunity
• Share one controversial and authentic viewpoint
• Offer one solution in a high-stakes situation

Step 5: Install Your New Operating System

The goal here is for certainty to become your default operating system. This involves taking bold and consistent action, until the idea of waiting for confidence becomes a safety blanket you no longer need.

Daily practices:

• Always start before you feel ready
• Focus on perfectly imperfect action
• Celebrate your wins
• Track your impact signals

Remember: Developing a mindset of certainty isn’t about being certain.

It’s about keeping an open mind, always being prepared to adapt, change and evolve. But not letting anything stop you from taking action.

What you do today – will determine the opportunities that come your way tomorrow.

We need your voice, your ideas and your leadership.

Not when you feel confident.

Not when you feel ready.

Now.